A playwright and motivational speaker, James Ebo Whyte, has urged husbands to swiftly adapt to changing societal dynamics and embrace new models of family life to promote peace, joy, and harmony in their homes.
Mr Whyte, popularly known as Uncle Ebo Whyte, said the traditional model of male-female roles in marriage had evolved, and modern men must learn to relate to their spouses differently from how their fathers related to their mothers.
Speaking on a local broadcast on Friday ahead of the Father’s Day celebration, Mr Whyte noted that the image of the man as the sole breadwinner was outdated, as more women now hold leadership roles in corporate spaces.
“My father, years ago, was not seen in the kitchen. If the family saw him there, they would attack my mother and call her a witch,” he said.
“Today, let’s say your wife is earning more than you do. She’s in a high position. At 4:30 p.m., you’re home already, but she’s just starting a meeting because she’s the head of a department reviewing targets.
“You’re resting at home at 5:00 p.m. and calling her to ask, ‘Where is my food?’ We should learn to understand our roles in the current world,” he said.
The renowned motivational speaker said many modern women plan meals and store them, so husbands should be comfortable reheating their meals when necessary.
“A lot of career women cook for the week, dish it into containers, and store it in the fridge. All you have to do is warm it and eat,” he said.
“We have to learn these things if we want peace in the house. If your wife brings in more income, ask yourself – because she’s carrying a financial load – how can I support her?”
Mr Whyte encouraged husbands to participate more actively in the home and revise the notion that financial responsibility lay solely with the man.
“The idea that every expense should be the man’s burden must change so that marriage becomes a true partnership,” he said.
Uncle Ebo White observed that while many Ghanaian men were good fathers, they often fell short as husbands.
“Your mother buys a gift for you and says, ‘Your father asked me to give this to you. Go and thank him.’ You go to thank him, and the look on his face tells you he may not know anything about it. But that’s what makes him a good husband,” he added.
Mr Whyte urged fathers to build strong, open relationships with their children and not be distant figures in the home.
“If your children need something, why can’t they come to you directly? Why must they go through their mother?” he asked.
“Let them feel safe and have access to you.”
He emphasised the need to respect and support wives to sustain the home and encouraged men to repair strained relationships with their spouses.
Mr Whyte attributed many of the challenges in fatherhood and marriage to societal shortcomings in the upbringing of boys.
“Girls are raised carefully. Boys are left to find their own way, with the assumption that they will somehow know right from wrong,” he said.
“When a man and woman are at the altar exchanging vows, the woman knows what she’s doing. The man may only understand what it means to be married five years in – if he’s lucky.”
He noted that while society interrogated a woman’s readiness for marriage, a man was usually only asked whether he could afford it.
“This results in the challenge I call the ‘motherisation of fatherhood’, where wives have to tell their husbands how to be fathers and what their duties are,” Uncle Ebo Whyte said.
He encouraged fathers to establish early bonds with their children to avoid feelings of irrelevance in the early stages of a child’s life.
“Before birth, mother and child have already bonded for nine months. After delivery, the father is often just a cheerleader, irrelevant for the first three to six months.
“When the baby is hungry, the father feels useless. Many men give up at this stage without realising that while the mother had a head start, they will also get their chance,” he added.
